Reality Is the Definition of Pain
By Abigail Bauman
My eyes are blind
And I can not see.
My hands are bound, my mind
Bound.
My lips...
Claimed.
Taken.
Locked in a moment of passion but not with
Passion—
I digress.
It is pain, I say.
It is pain, I say.
No.
And no...
And no
And no
And no
AND NO
But my lips do not move.
Claimed.
Taken
They walk and they dance and they entwine with my enemy,
Though he does not know he is my enemy.
Is it real? I ask you—is it real
If you do not see me cry?
If you do not see me scream?
If you do not see, or do not want to
See?
But you still smile and laugh and joke and speak to me
As though I can speak to you.
Is it real? I ask you
If I never said no?
-But I did say no, and you did not hear me.
On the Bank of the River
On the bank of the river
I did sell my soul,
The Devil came to me,
A true sight to behold.
He laid me down
On a blanket of stone
And wrapped my body in chains of bone.
His teeth, they snapped
At the skin of my neck,
And the swipe of his tongue
Stained spit on my throat.
My body reacts like a lover in thrall
But my mind evades the allure of his call.
I know in memory the taste of regret,
The press of warning packed against my chest.
I am blind in the night,
But I see it all.
Every breath from his lungs,
Every rush from the fall.
I can hear his voice
Like an echo around me.
There is no one else—
No sound ‘cept drowning.
Darkness rises above,
My salvation? The stars,
But the Devil blots them out
With his horns and his scars.
I can feel him steal the very life in my lungs,
But only in memory do I know what he’s done.
His claws lock me down
And my chains clink and rattle.
I hear the death toll,
Like a herding of cattle
Towards the dark and the din and the mystery of slaughter.
I wish he could see I was only a daughter
Of light and love and the God of the Sun
‘Til his darkness took hold.
What have I done?